No is Not Forever
In a recent conversation, the topic of self-improvement came up. My friend found herself knee deep in free trials and self-improvement tips, tricks, and life hacks a few months ago. She wanted to learn many of the things that were being promoted so she said yes, typing in her email address in exchange for the goodies.
She read a few as they rolled in and but as they came faster and faster and life kept moving, she found herself at a crossroads.
She still wanted to learn all of the things she signed up for yet was overwhelmed at the depth of each topic.
The easy answer seems to say no, and shelf it for later. If ever.
But the action, or the decision rather, felt defeating rather than freeing. Instead of feeling expansive, she felt conflicted.
Inner conflict often has that result: you have two different ideas (or intents) competing for attention.
The conflict creates decision fatigue as you listen to both ideas constantly chatter, oftentimes over the other.
When it comes to simplifying your life, the decision to let something go (or not) is the hardest part.
The inner dialogue that perpetuates the agony over whether you should keep something or not is relentless and draining.
Worn out and still no clearer on the answer, you choose the path of least resistance.
“No decision” which is the twin sister to “keep it”.
Not making a decision is in fact making a decision, under the guise of “I just don’t know” and it feels a bit better.
The beauty in simplifying however is this:
—> No is not forever <—
Just because you say no to something now, doesn’t mean that you can’t or won’t pick it back up in the future.
If you decide to donate the tennis gear that’s collected dust in the garage for the past 4 years, doesn’t mean you can’t pick up again in another 10 years. Or two.
Go ahead and let the guilt of “wasting money” dissolve as well. Our logical mind gets excited at the opportunity to lecture us, scolding that you should have known and you ought to have. None of which is true; you don’t have a crystal ball and you cannot predict the future.
It is also not helpful; I call it inner abuse.
If you decide to unsubscribe from the “how to meditate in 5 days” email string, then that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to meditate again in the future. The intent is still there but it’s not taking priority.
Everything cannot be a priority all at the same time.
So I will tell you what I told her, and that was to:
Shelf it.
Use the digital filing cabinet, Pinterest, and create a board titled “Meditation”. Pin/save the emails and tips (where possible) and move along, knowing that the intent is tucked away safe in the bed and should you decide to awaken it, then it will be there.
I would love to hear your thoughts below: what decision have you (or are you) gone back and forth on making yet can’t seem to come to a clear yes or a clear no?